Lily Evans Diary - Feed back

A number of (E)books were made available, for evaluation. I sincerely hope you liked them.
In contrast to commercial authers, I can not rely on publishes, agencies etc etc
And it is obviously for me impossible to ask commercial reviewer to have a look at the manuscript.
Because of that, I humbly ask, to give some (email) feedback at: lily.evans at


Which story did you read:
Year 1-8:
Version: yyyymmdd
pdf / paperback

Liked it

Did you like the story so far?
Please be honest.


On the whole, was it a readable story?
(Even I do come across books that were really unreadable)


The story is intended for young adults, who DID read the Harry Potter books
Choosing the correct wording is difficult:the words used/understood by a child, are clearly different to those used/expected by an adult.
Same counts for the level of comprension.
As a non-native, it's more difficult than for UK-residents, to insert puns.
Finally, I tried (...) toke take in a count, the age of the person in the book.


There are several story-lines, Some minescule events, emotions are just anchors for larger events later on. Hope you can detect and appreciate them.
Were story-lines visible enough?


I've tried, to let all (main) characters develop, some more, some less. Could you detect them? (mostly Y2++)
As explained in Y3, the two main characters develop much faster from child into adulthood. Did you understand why, is it still realistic?
Main audience is young adult. Did I succeed in avoiding 18+ scenes?


Intentionally, I've tried to start very shallow, superficial, for most characters in Y1.
Due to the events through the years (accidental deaths, murder attempts, suicide, anorexia, abuse, haunted area's, weddings, funerals, and sacrifice) it grows darker and darker.
Did I go too far? Needed (extra) Prozac?


I tried my best to resolve as many as possible typo's.
Tekst-Editors and (online) grammar checks, showed some. I'm pretty confident there will still be others.
Some, especially commas, were placed to emphasize certain situations.


I've tried to follow as closely as can be, the potter-BOOKS (instead of movies)
Did you foind any discrapancies
One major deviation, is that I let Dibbet live longer. His death is an essential part in one of the books.
As far as I know, you can not study for Medical Doctor (G.P.) on the Open University.

Summing it all up

One of the conditions attached to the permission for publishing, was that it would be non-commercial.
IF (!!!) you had to pay for this stoy, how much do you consider it worth?

Please, give me some (email) feedback at: lily.evans at
I would like to learn from my failures, and avoid them in subsequent years,